I have really struggled this week and in terms of healthy eating and dieting I have been in the Abyss.  There is a little self-destruct button in my head which went off this week.  So I binged and ate garbage and felt dreadful.  I need to work out why so it doesn’t happen again.  It was no fun and I do not want to go there again.

I had a very busy weekend so I started the week feeling tired and it was a very busy week at work.

I had to spend a couple of days in Birmingham which is tiring.  On the way up I have to get up at 4:45 am to get to the office by 9 am and after 2 long days I arrive home knackered.

I made a big effort to eat some healthy food such as wheatgrass.

But then I completely over ate on bread and other carbs.  I ate far worse than brown bread.  I pigged out on chocolate.  Lots of chocolate.  And crisps.  And biscuits.  And cakes.

The more I overate the more tired I felt.  As I became more tired and my eating felt out of control I became more miserable.  It is a terrible downward spiral to go on but luckily the weekend arrived and I was able to relax and enjoy myself.  I decided the way up from the abyss was to eat what I liked, as long as it was not garbage (alcohol is not garbage is it?).  And ping!  I felt better immediately.

The weekend got off to a cracking start with drinks at Tanya’s and a group of friends I have not seen since I went back to work.  It was a lovely evening and apart from drinking too much I felt much better afterwards then before I went.

On Saturday morning I was out foraging for green leaves as soon I was up and about.

A lovely green smoothie drunk from my favourite heart glass Gini gave me.  It sounds corny but sometimes we have to remind ourselves to love ourselves.  Eating such a nutritious smoothie was a great thing to do for myself.

Lara was home for the weekend 🙂 so for lunch we had some yummies from the Italian Deli in Cranbrook (2 types of baked ham and mozzarella) with mixed leaves and baby Jersey new potatoes from Turnip.

After lunch my sister Abi arrived and we headed off for a walk.  Having spent all week stuck behind a desk it was so good to be out walking in the beautiful countryside near our home.  The sun was out and it was a lovely warm afternoon.

Oh what dilemmas a young boy faces – shall I cycle through this massive puddle or not?

Oh yes I shall!

Walking, chatting and laughing really helped me relax – thank you Abi.

We then proceeded up the road where we spent a very enjoyable time drinking way too much wine with Annette and David but it had to be done and by the time I toddled off down the hill towards home I felt completely drunk relaxed.  We managed to rustle up a roast pork dinner followed by a raspberry, apple and white chocolate crumble – no mean feat considering how much wine was imbibed before, during and after cooking!

This morning was a very special day.  My gorgeous little boy turned 10 and he chose American pancakes and sausages for breakfast.   Happy birthday little fella.

I made Harvey a chocolate birthday cake and in a flash of inspiration I added a heaped tbsp of blackcurrant jam to the butter icing I was putting in the middle of the cake.  It turned it a deep pink colour and tasted lovely.  A top tip for you to try.

On the top I put a box of After Eights which I melted first in a bowl over simmering water.  After Eights have milk fat in them but not milk protein so Harvey can have them as he is intolerant to the protein, not the fat in dairy.

Harvey’s favourite food is sweet and sour chicken so we headed up to London for lunch and walked up to Chinatown and in to New World where we met my sister Lucy and her family.  New World is a very well known Chinese restaurant on the edge of Chinatown and is famous for its dim sum.  They have traditional trolleys that are pushed around the restaurant and you can stop any of them and sample their wares.  Many of the dim sum trolleys are steamed food but some, such as this one have a hot plate and they cook the food in from of you.

This was pork and prawn on green pepper in a black bean sauce.

You can also order more traditional foods from the menu so Harry chose crispy duck pancakes and Harvey got the sweet and sour chicken he wanted.

It was great.

I had taken the birthday cake and the friendly staff in New World kindly cleared the table and then provided plates, knives and matches so we could enjoy the birthday cake.

Afterwards Lucy took Lara to Kings Cross and we pottered about Chinatown.

Harvey was quite fascinated by the goodies on offer and I bought some interesting teas, seaweed, brown rice and millet I want to try eating.  I have just bought a macrobiotic book and am going to try that for a while.  I will be easing myself in gradually as I totter along the edge of the abyss and hopefully move far away from that dark and horrible place.  Watch this space!